Elimination Communication

Bare with me folks, this is my first time blogging.

While pregnant with my daughter, I couldn't help but ask my husband's grandma how on earth she "potty trained" her first born by the time he was 9 months old.  She is sweet and gentle, so I knew there was no power struggle or force behind what she did but I couldn't grasp how this was possible.

Apparently, all she did was start putting him on the potty when he was able to sit up on his own.  Her way of doing so was to put him on the potty while she and her husband would be in the bathroom getting ready in the morning.  When he would go in the potty, they would praise him and over time, he just preferred the potty.

When my daughter was coming up to the age of being able to sit up, I was talking w a friend about my plan to do what grandma did and she told me she had friends that did this with their child.  Apparently they read a book. DiaperFreeBaby and said I should check it out.  Which I did of course!

To be honest, there were some terrific suggestions in this book but I was becoming more and more overwhelmed by some of the "off the wall" ideas they were suggesting.  They discuss the term Elimination Communication (or EC for short).  It is all about learning your child's cues, etc.  The whole theory started in India (but other cultures practice it as well).

I happen to have a couple of clients that are from India and are mamas so I asked them about it.  They each were thrilled when I asked them about this!  They couldn't wait to share what worked for them.  I explained some of what the book was suggesting I do and expressed how overwhelming that seemed to me.  Each of them (I asked them separately) suggested I just put baby on the potty after she wakes up and after she eats (that is when they likely have to go anyway) and use diapers in between.

I have been doing this since my daughter could sit up on her own and my husband and I can't remember the last time we changed a poopy diaper!  She is about 17 months old now and though she still typically pees in her diaper, she is beginning to signal us even when she needs to use the potty to pee.  On the rare occasion she needs to poo between potty breaks, she signals us in horror, like "DO SOMETHING!" LOL It is quite exciting to see her communicate with us (though she doesn't communicate with us the way the book suggested, BUT even the book explains that every baby is going to communicate differently.

So a little progress report: I mentioned she is almost 17 months old and is beginning to signal us even when she needs to pee in the potty.  I have decided to give actual training a shot now. We are getting her big girl undies soon and just going to test the waters for at least a week.  Another reason we have decided this, it seems like there are many times we go to change her and even her diaper is dry so clearly she prefers the potty to wetting herself.

Personal Theories:
I believe we train our babies to go in diapers.  It isn't natural and no one wants to poo or pee themselves yet we essentially force our infants to do so.  My intentions with sitting her on the potty wasn't to start training her but you hear all of the time about the struggles parents have with training their toddlers later.  I figured I would at least just introduce her to the potty from the get go so she doesn't know any different and it isn't something to force her into later.  Think of it like this, all your life, you have been going to the bathroom in your pants and then one day, your parents say this isn't okay and you have to use the toilet/potty.  No wonder it can be such a scary thing for some kids and such a struggle for so many families.

I do get people that believe I am "forcing" my baby to do something she isn't ready for but I promise this is not the case at all.  When she did have a wet or dirty diaper, she would cry as an infant.  That is the first sign of communication and further tells me that she simply had no desire to go in her pants... which who wants to?

Some other insights:
I started this process when my milk was drying up and it was obvious I wouldn't be able to continue breast feeding much longer.  I was heartbroken that such a strong bond was about to be broken between my baby and me.  When I started trying EC, it actually became an amazing way for us to bond in a different way!  For starters, when she was sitting on the potty, I would read to her, have her play with bath toys, we'd sing, etc.  We both had a ton of fun!

First time I ever put her on the potty, I really didn't expect anything to happen but sure enough she immediately poo'd in the potty!!! She was barely 6 months old and I simply held her over the toilet and she literally went in that instant!  She looked up at me completely surprised then laughed.  It was exciting for both of us.  I continued putting her on the potty but never did so expecting results every time, nor did I get results every time.  Most of the time I sat her down, she was excited to do so.  Occasionally, she would straighten and protest to which I simply didn't sit her down that time.  Obviously she either didn't need to go or just wasn't interested in the potty at that time. Again, I wasn't "training" her so much as introducing so I saw no point in making anything about it a negative experience for either of us.  We never went through rewards and disciplines about the potty situation at anytime, though anytime she went, I couldn't help but clap and say "Yay!" for her.  Even almost a year later, it is still exciting every time she goes!