Recent Obstacles and Successes with EC
For about a month, my 1.5 year old has been in undies at home. We still have her in diapers when we are out and for sleep times. While we are out, she still will usually signal when she needs to go and almost never goes in her diaper at all.
At home, she is in undies and it is incredibly rare she will wet them. An "obstacle" we have been facing with her is that she has figured out how to get what she wants haha! If we are busy doing other things, she will sign for potty and we will say to go to the bathroom and she will bypass it and run into her room. So, basically she will use "potty" as a sign for "follow me" :) Which is cute the first couple of times but gets exhausting after a while.
We also use Time Out at our house. She will sign for anything while in time out to find a reason to get out. She would sign for "potty" too and then, I swear to you, would make herself go! So I started keeping a little potty near by but out of site where we go for time out. This has worked, though, now I think she will purposefully do things to go into time out just to use the little potty! Toddlers can be so manipulative! (Her face is quite priceless too when she is in time out. She batts her eyes and desperately tries to appear perfectly innocent. She gets this from her daddy lol)
So those obstacles really aren't that bad. Mostly they are funny, yet occasionally tiring. The other obstacle is that when we recently had Grandpa watch her, she wet through 3 undies until he gave up and just put a diaper on her. Either she doesn't sign for him or he doesn't catch the sign. She will sign to me when we are out at Costco on the other end of the store and can hold it until we get to the potty, so I don't think it's that he doesn't move fast enough. There just isn't that communication there. We rarely leave her with anyone so I don't know if she just isn't sure about communicating with other people in general about needing to go or if it was just a fluke, etc.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Natural Birth
This blog is inspired by the swarm of new mommy's to be that have recently contacted me because they are newly pregnant and hoping for natural births! :D So excited for them!
Quick background as to why I am partial to natural birth:
I'm a licensed massage therapist and have specialize in pre and postnatal massage for several years. I was having many clients coming to me after having their babies with issues in regards to their epidurals. It never even dawned on me some of the complications there can be when receiving an epidural. Many anesthesiologists will attest that they have never witnessed an issue with epidurals and even OBs, however, if you have complications/pain/discomfort from your previous epidural, you don't go back to the anasteseologism or even your OB. You start seeing other specialists to deal with your pain/discomfort.
Most of my clients that had issues had minor back issues they didn't realize they had prior to giving birth, such as spina bifida or even mild scoliosis. This was a red flag for myself since I actually have BOTH! So I started doing research.
I began this research years before becoming pregnant for the first time. Then once I was pregnant, I became shocked... appalled even, at how I was treated in this world while striving to have a natural birth (during a boring old normal healthy pregnancy).
Because I had to FIGHT, yes fight, for my right to birth naturally, I have become a bit of an advocate. I never meant to but it was insane how I was laughed at by medical professionals and the general public in my quest for natural birth. Don't get me wrong, if something is wrong, that is absolutely what medical intervention is for and thank God for it but if nothing is wrong, please DON'T TOUCH ME!
If you so desire a natural birth, here are some recommendations for you to consider:
First, do your homework. The first thing I did (other than all the research I had done in the past) was talk with my husband to be sure he too was on board with me. Having a support system is key. We discussed what we were both okay with and not okay with. My husband is not completely against natural birth but with my medical history, he is not comfortable with home birth for us (though he recently said that perhaps he will be more open to it for a 3rd or more children, as we are expecting our second any day now).
After we came to some agreements, we then hired a doula. Real quick, there is a distinct difference between a doula and a midwife. A doula is there to be your support person through your pregnancy, labor, birth and AFTER. They also know medical terms and can take the time to translate things for you when typically, nurses at the hospital don't always have the time to do so (not that they don't have the care or passion to do so, just not the time).
I've heard people counter this recommendation by saying how supportive their significant others are, which is fantastic. However, even my husband, who by the way is the most amazing man I've ever met and incredibly supportive all through my pregnancies, birth, and being a father and husband, and so on, has never been pregnant, never given birth, and never lactated. Even he attested to this while we were expecting our first. He told me that he worried that no matter how supportive he would be, he would always feel incredibly helpless because he just didn't fully understand what I was going through. It was so humble and loving of him to express this and be supportive of my wish to have a doula.
My doula was with me all through my pregnancy. She answered all my bizarre first time mama questions, came to our home for birth classes (more one on one was also awesome), etc. She helped me know where to go and what questions to ask when looking for where I would deliver and what doctor/midwife I would have, etc.
Technically, I did the next part backwards but I did this for a reason. When you are having a hospital birth, your doctor is not there through most of your labor. He or she is there pretty much for the main event and that's it. So most of your laboring process, you are dealing with the hospital staff. So I decided to tour all of the hospitals in my area that my insurance covered. After touring five hospitals I found one that was absolutely amazing in every way. A couple of the hospitals I toured literally laughed at me or the tour guide would look me up and down with a judgmental gaze any time I asked questions, such as "Do you have a squatting bar." I got a lot of "This must be your first" comments. I started feeling bullied and helpless already and I was only in my first trimester at this point. As I said though, I did find a hospital that was absolutely amazing and supportive of what I was looking for as well as prepared for any possible emergency situations (such as having two ORs in the maternity ward).
After finding "my" hospital, I asked the tour guide and other mom's in the group the best way to find natural birth friendly doctors/midwives. The tour guide technically couldn't offer specific information about that but some of the other mother's on the tour helped me and the guide gave me a website to find doctors/midwives that delivered in that hospital. I made a list of everyone my insurance would cover and called around to schedule interview appointments. It was shocking how many of them were going to charge me a full copay just to interview them (most of those, I did not schedule the interview with because I didn't see the point in paying $25-50 to ask someone a few questions).
I continued seeing my current doctor for all of my routine check ups and did not inform her that I was looking for care else where for my birth. In my interviews, I never expressed any of my birth preferences. I had a list of questions that I actually found on Babycenter.com and just highlighted what was important to me.
Once I found my doctor (much to both my husband and my relief), that doctor's office took care of getting my paperwork from my previous doctor and I never had to deal with anything uncomfortable with my previous doctor. My previous doctor, by the way, was an amazing doctor but when it came to my wishes for birth, it was clear there was no way I could successfully have a natural birth in her care. It wasn't because I wasn't healthy enough for it, or anything of that nature but because she had never witnessed or experienced many natural births. Her practice was very large and deal mostly with induced labors and scheduled cesarean sections.
I finished the last half of my pregnancy with my new doctor and my doula. My doula helped me come up with my Birth Preferences. If you haven't noticed, I say Birth Preferences rather than Birth Plan. Partly, this is due to people that would always try to scare me with, "You can't plan your labor/birth," etc, which to an extent, is true but they were missing the point so saying preferences just gave them the knowledge that clearly I understand that if something is wrong, I am open to intervention.
If you truly want a natural birth, whether it is at home, birth center, or hospital, DO NOT WING IT. Inform yourself. Try to get some information of medical terms that will be used around you while you are in labor (this is another reason it is fantastic to have a doula, they can advocate for you while you are in the throws of labor AND be supportive and assuring to you if intervention is necessary).
Many hospitals will "bully" pregnant women into signing for things they don't actually want or need. They are just doing their job and it is what it is. I was incredibly fortunate that at "my" hospital, the triage nurse I had, though she did want me to sign for things "just in case I changed my mind" was patient and supportive of my wishes. In fact, I came in on a Saturday night in active labor and she tried getting me to sign something for the epidural just in case. Again, it was a Saturday night, the end of her shift, yet this woman was not pestering me (remember, I am in the throws of active labor at this point too). I didn't feel bullied or even annoyed. She did ask me during a contraction what my pain scale was and I groaned, "FIVE!" to which she laughed and said, "Okay, no epidural for you!" She was amazing!!! Had I been in a different state of mind, I would have gotten her name and sent her a basket of goodies or something as a big thank you after having my daughter!
Back to the DO NOT WING IT comment.
80-90% of births have some form of intervention (necessary intervention should be less than 15%). If you go into your pregnancy not doing any research, asking questions, interviewing care providers, touring hospitals, etc and just expect them to follow your wishes when you come in in labor, you are likely to be out of luck. Most OBs and hospital staff members have not witnessed a natural birth or have only seen them on such rare occasion that they aren't even comfortable with natural birth. So keep yourself informed and find providers that are familiar with your wishes.
Remember me saying not to express you birth preferences while interviewing doctors/midwives? This is because you want to choose someone that is well practiced in what you're hoping for with your birth. Example, as I said, I'm a licensed massage therapist. I have certain modalities I specialize in and others that I am not that comfortable with. It isn't that I am not a qualified therapist, but there is no cookie-cutter massage. Every therapist has their own protocols they more often practice and are familiar and comfortable with. Same with doctors and other care providers.
There are of course more tips but leave a comment with more specific questions so I don't go on and on forever and ever :)
This blog is inspired by the swarm of new mommy's to be that have recently contacted me because they are newly pregnant and hoping for natural births! :D So excited for them!
Quick background as to why I am partial to natural birth:
I'm a licensed massage therapist and have specialize in pre and postnatal massage for several years. I was having many clients coming to me after having their babies with issues in regards to their epidurals. It never even dawned on me some of the complications there can be when receiving an epidural. Many anesthesiologists will attest that they have never witnessed an issue with epidurals and even OBs, however, if you have complications/pain/discomfort from your previous epidural, you don't go back to the anasteseologism or even your OB. You start seeing other specialists to deal with your pain/discomfort.
Most of my clients that had issues had minor back issues they didn't realize they had prior to giving birth, such as spina bifida or even mild scoliosis. This was a red flag for myself since I actually have BOTH! So I started doing research.
I began this research years before becoming pregnant for the first time. Then once I was pregnant, I became shocked... appalled even, at how I was treated in this world while striving to have a natural birth (during a boring old normal healthy pregnancy).
Because I had to FIGHT, yes fight, for my right to birth naturally, I have become a bit of an advocate. I never meant to but it was insane how I was laughed at by medical professionals and the general public in my quest for natural birth. Don't get me wrong, if something is wrong, that is absolutely what medical intervention is for and thank God for it but if nothing is wrong, please DON'T TOUCH ME!
If you so desire a natural birth, here are some recommendations for you to consider:
First, do your homework. The first thing I did (other than all the research I had done in the past) was talk with my husband to be sure he too was on board with me. Having a support system is key. We discussed what we were both okay with and not okay with. My husband is not completely against natural birth but with my medical history, he is not comfortable with home birth for us (though he recently said that perhaps he will be more open to it for a 3rd or more children, as we are expecting our second any day now).
After we came to some agreements, we then hired a doula. Real quick, there is a distinct difference between a doula and a midwife. A doula is there to be your support person through your pregnancy, labor, birth and AFTER. They also know medical terms and can take the time to translate things for you when typically, nurses at the hospital don't always have the time to do so (not that they don't have the care or passion to do so, just not the time).
I've heard people counter this recommendation by saying how supportive their significant others are, which is fantastic. However, even my husband, who by the way is the most amazing man I've ever met and incredibly supportive all through my pregnancies, birth, and being a father and husband, and so on, has never been pregnant, never given birth, and never lactated. Even he attested to this while we were expecting our first. He told me that he worried that no matter how supportive he would be, he would always feel incredibly helpless because he just didn't fully understand what I was going through. It was so humble and loving of him to express this and be supportive of my wish to have a doula.
My doula was with me all through my pregnancy. She answered all my bizarre first time mama questions, came to our home for birth classes (more one on one was also awesome), etc. She helped me know where to go and what questions to ask when looking for where I would deliver and what doctor/midwife I would have, etc.
Technically, I did the next part backwards but I did this for a reason. When you are having a hospital birth, your doctor is not there through most of your labor. He or she is there pretty much for the main event and that's it. So most of your laboring process, you are dealing with the hospital staff. So I decided to tour all of the hospitals in my area that my insurance covered. After touring five hospitals I found one that was absolutely amazing in every way. A couple of the hospitals I toured literally laughed at me or the tour guide would look me up and down with a judgmental gaze any time I asked questions, such as "Do you have a squatting bar." I got a lot of "This must be your first" comments. I started feeling bullied and helpless already and I was only in my first trimester at this point. As I said though, I did find a hospital that was absolutely amazing and supportive of what I was looking for as well as prepared for any possible emergency situations (such as having two ORs in the maternity ward).
After finding "my" hospital, I asked the tour guide and other mom's in the group the best way to find natural birth friendly doctors/midwives. The tour guide technically couldn't offer specific information about that but some of the other mother's on the tour helped me and the guide gave me a website to find doctors/midwives that delivered in that hospital. I made a list of everyone my insurance would cover and called around to schedule interview appointments. It was shocking how many of them were going to charge me a full copay just to interview them (most of those, I did not schedule the interview with because I didn't see the point in paying $25-50 to ask someone a few questions).
I continued seeing my current doctor for all of my routine check ups and did not inform her that I was looking for care else where for my birth. In my interviews, I never expressed any of my birth preferences. I had a list of questions that I actually found on Babycenter.com and just highlighted what was important to me.
Once I found my doctor (much to both my husband and my relief), that doctor's office took care of getting my paperwork from my previous doctor and I never had to deal with anything uncomfortable with my previous doctor. My previous doctor, by the way, was an amazing doctor but when it came to my wishes for birth, it was clear there was no way I could successfully have a natural birth in her care. It wasn't because I wasn't healthy enough for it, or anything of that nature but because she had never witnessed or experienced many natural births. Her practice was very large and deal mostly with induced labors and scheduled cesarean sections.
I finished the last half of my pregnancy with my new doctor and my doula. My doula helped me come up with my Birth Preferences. If you haven't noticed, I say Birth Preferences rather than Birth Plan. Partly, this is due to people that would always try to scare me with, "You can't plan your labor/birth," etc, which to an extent, is true but they were missing the point so saying preferences just gave them the knowledge that clearly I understand that if something is wrong, I am open to intervention.
If you truly want a natural birth, whether it is at home, birth center, or hospital, DO NOT WING IT. Inform yourself. Try to get some information of medical terms that will be used around you while you are in labor (this is another reason it is fantastic to have a doula, they can advocate for you while you are in the throws of labor AND be supportive and assuring to you if intervention is necessary).
Many hospitals will "bully" pregnant women into signing for things they don't actually want or need. They are just doing their job and it is what it is. I was incredibly fortunate that at "my" hospital, the triage nurse I had, though she did want me to sign for things "just in case I changed my mind" was patient and supportive of my wishes. In fact, I came in on a Saturday night in active labor and she tried getting me to sign something for the epidural just in case. Again, it was a Saturday night, the end of her shift, yet this woman was not pestering me (remember, I am in the throws of active labor at this point too). I didn't feel bullied or even annoyed. She did ask me during a contraction what my pain scale was and I groaned, "FIVE!" to which she laughed and said, "Okay, no epidural for you!" She was amazing!!! Had I been in a different state of mind, I would have gotten her name and sent her a basket of goodies or something as a big thank you after having my daughter!
Back to the DO NOT WING IT comment.
80-90% of births have some form of intervention (necessary intervention should be less than 15%). If you go into your pregnancy not doing any research, asking questions, interviewing care providers, touring hospitals, etc and just expect them to follow your wishes when you come in in labor, you are likely to be out of luck. Most OBs and hospital staff members have not witnessed a natural birth or have only seen them on such rare occasion that they aren't even comfortable with natural birth. So keep yourself informed and find providers that are familiar with your wishes.
Remember me saying not to express you birth preferences while interviewing doctors/midwives? This is because you want to choose someone that is well practiced in what you're hoping for with your birth. Example, as I said, I'm a licensed massage therapist. I have certain modalities I specialize in and others that I am not that comfortable with. It isn't that I am not a qualified therapist, but there is no cookie-cutter massage. Every therapist has their own protocols they more often practice and are familiar and comfortable with. Same with doctors and other care providers.
There are of course more tips but leave a comment with more specific questions so I don't go on and on forever and ever :)
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